I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
Quote by Dave Barry
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Dave Barry Quotes
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
The secret to understanding me is, I'm not trying to be anybody other than who I actually am. People want candid, refreshing leadership. And I've always tried to go with solutions. You know, I've always tried to say, here's how we get our economy growing, here's why we get our debt under control. That's what Mitt Romney is offering.
They're right to think that about me, because I'm the person most likely to sleep with my female fans, I genuinely love other women. And I think they know that.
Power can be taken, but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself.
I have the best husband in the world. He's very involved.
Neutrality is a negative word. It does not express what America ought to feel. We are not trying to keep out of trouble we are trying to preserve the foundations on which peace may be rebuilt.
People should be free, people should be unencumbered by regulation as much as possible, that big government always goes corrupt and the truth shall always set you free.
Health care reform, the marquee legislative accomplishment of the Obama administration's first term, was passed before we entered the world of divided government.
My dad would give me $10, which is a lot of money when you're 9, to sing at church, on tables at restaurants, at family functions, just about anywhere.
Well, real estate is always good, as far as I'm concerned.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.