Only To Begin Its Work | Zoe Mathipa

I don't want to sound too cliche.
Like say things everyone else would say.

Cause this is diffrent...
My hurt, pain, distress and confusion
Just all so diffrent...

I've gone through so many heartbreaks.
Gone through the very same emotions.
And yet they feel so foreign.

They say anxiety is the fear of thee unknown...
I dont know how to feel at most times or even know myself to begin with.
So is it right to say I fear me?
It only happens when I think of you.
It's as much as i breathe.
But I'll be fine.
Yet another endless spiral I have to endure when I lay my head to rest, rest to begin its work.

Poet's note: The story behind this poem is my lost lover. A hasty decision I made, lost because my insecurities wouldn't let me keep him. The feelings I wanted to express was regret, heartbreak and long suffering after we departed. This poem is all the things I could never tell him.