Thoughts-ing From Yesterday

I lay here in my bed, thoughts-ing---
In the middle of the night,
In the side of the dark,
In the corner of my room or not,
of things that may or may not matter.

The things I go through,
The things I've been through,
The things others go through,
The things others been through,
I thought and I think again, why should I think about this thoughts?

I feel abandoned and sad,
I feel lonely and tired. Then again,
I should feel blessed and lucky
I should feel contented and happy... No, I have to.
But then, I thought and I think again, should I ?

I compare and contrast,
I observe and analyze,
Of me and others,
My life and theirs,
Is it too much?

I thought and I think again, stop.
Be asleep and be adrift.
I close my eyes and before I dream,
Tears drop out of my eyes,
Hurting and hurting again.