This Broken Boy

How do you make broken heal? What can rejuvenate a cursed soul?
20 years lived in denial; lifetime lived on hope of something to never be found.
This soul is filled with dirt, born shining darkened by the world
Lived innocently guilt implanted by his closest
Happy from his reach, smiles of plastic masking the raging pain
This soul deleted
The zeal to life quenched
Thoughts suicidal, his angels he scared away
Faith he lost, in gods he trust no more
Insecurities he feels is tight
To home he can’t go, it awakens his demons
He speaks not, this boy bottles up everything
No one notices , not one can
This boy had had big dreams
He killed them all trying to save his soul
But he watched them all die
He sees heaven’s gate from afar
As he steps left foot into the raging hell fire
The pain sweetens up his senses,
What point of his life did he fail? Where did this boy go wrong?
Maybe he is suffering from a mistake way above him
He couldn’t choose where to be born
But he forgot to hurt those who had hurt him
He was slow to give back the pain he received
He was slow in talking, sometimes forgot to say thank you
He could have done better, but again he was corrupted
Lessons he had were untrue
They made him scared to lie when he should have
His she taught him sorry at times to punch back
He learnt turning both cheeks for the slap
The world slapped, again and again
Drove deep wounds into him, the scars he couldn’t hide
He hoped Jesus to slap the world back, He just made them stronger instead
His faith became weaker, as his pain grew bigger
20 years he has done nothing, 240 months has been pathetic
But from deep in his desperation
He has some two to still give him hope
To still call out his name and stretch out for support
Maybe he’ll be reborn, just a clean slate
To start it all over again, this time he sets the rules
To do what he feels is best.