Drained By Your Absence

I still go through panic attacks at the thought of your suffix,
I still lose it when your memory grease my mind,
I still feel paralyzed by your venomous assault,
I still go through the nightmares of your betrayal
I still can’t figure out why I can’t get over you?

I wish I could erase the remnant of you,
I wish I could stop tearing at each scene,
I wish I could learn to forgive myself,
I wish I could give room to hunger quest,
I wish they thought of you will stop hunting my emotions

I don’t want to fake it but you still mean the world to me,
I don’t want to let go although I know you’re no more,
I don’t want to live off this pain and fate for a bad trial,
I don’t want a symposium to express the vacuum you created,
I don’t want a reminder from the mysterious sea of remembrance.

I never wanted to try but I gave it up for the life,
I never craved for the world because yours was perfect,
I never wanted perfection but I had to settle for la-la land,
I never wanted to be hurt by the one I called “Safe heaven”

Now I’m fading away far from the reality of my existence,
Now I feel like the true definition of shattered glass,
Now I am basked with several emotions as sleep gives up on me;
Now I’m a shadow of immortal confusion and complicated attired

Someone wake me up; I just want to breathe again…