I Miss You

millions of fights I've recorded with you,
Deep bruises that still bleeds even today,
Echoes of harmful words that corroded my sensitivity,
Cold nights,with rough blowing tongues,
Never had I thought of such a day,

Many late night walks of forgiveness,
Sacrifices of our souls, just to feel the scent of your heart,
Just to hear you breathe once again would make me at ease
So much anger between our sheets,
Little moments of sunshine,in most days the thunder would roar,
But never had I pictured a day without you,

This is my first cut,and I truly feel how deep it is,
Every breathe I took is battle,
Every single thread of my mind thinks about you,
Of how much energy we had both invested in our broken souls just for them to be further broken again,
Of how much tears we had cried and how much grieve we had over each other,

I guess you were to tired than I was,
Cause through it all I would always see a silver lining smiling ahead,
We had serious fights,but with every morning ray,I would forget about the memory of the previous night yet live in its effects,
I wanted you above fights,
I needed you above pain,
I loved you through all hurdles,

But I guess you were to tired,
So you chose to park and punch the vehicle,
Leaving me to swim in the ideas I had about us,

We may never had laughed as I hoped we would,
But do you know how much I loved you?
Do you know how it felt being away from you even if your presence would prick me at times?
Did you know how much jealous I had over you when you couldn't call?
Guess you only saw the mean I was over the love I had

It weighs me down to imagine that I would never have the chance to see you again,
The chance to call you mine anymore,
The chance to have you dressing my sheets with your fragnace,
The chance just to see you naked again taking those timeless bath,
What hurts me more is to imagine that I would never find someone like you again,
Cause I never needed someone like you but I needed you,

With millions of faults that pierced me like rust nails,but I still wanted you.
In a million years of world I would still choose you,
Above all creatures and creation I would still want you,
Like I want now,
I would still need you like I need now,
But I guess you were to tired,

My heart breaks in all possible ways,
I know I would never heal from this,
Even if they say time is the best healer,but I think time will fail to do what it is suppose to do on me,
I do not see my self healing from this,

This break up would make me old.

Musa Mukelwa Simelane
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