If

If I was a blind man;
I'd get myself a braille.
If I was a dog,
I'd get myself a tail.
Lord no more could I drive...
And no more could I sail.

If I was a cowboy,
I'd buy myself a horse.
If I was a drifter,
I'd buy myself a house.
I ain't got some peace,
And no happiness of course.

I got a lot of calories,
And a lot of money.
I got a lot of calories,
And a lot of money.
Money cannot barter with peace...
And that isn't funny.