My Every Day Life... | Andile Chagi

They are talking
Making conversations all around
The house is fun spirited as always
I am just not feeling it at all
I feel irritated and my head hurts
They sound like mosquitoes
Singing and nagging in my ears
Today is just not my sometimes
I just wanna run
Till my feet can't carry me anymore
Till I run out of breath and my head spins
Till I am not afraid anymore
I just want to be alone
I can't breath
And every day is a struggle
I am suffocating
You are testing me
And I want to prove you so wrong
But I am just tired
I need a change of scenery
As in yesterday
I want to be a stranger
I want to be anonymous
They think they know me
But they don't
I see them trying
But it's just not worth it
I'm numb
I'm just filled with emotions
And the words keep coming
I start worrying too much
And want to fix everything
Right now right here
Today
I'm done.

Poet's note: I wrote this poem on the 26th of July at approximately 20:30. I wrote it mostly for my family to understand that I am not okay these days. And I just have these fears and insecurities as a teenager. I wanted to express how I feel. Let them know that they might see me smile or get blue and not talk. It's just life and the daily lessons as I am still paving my way and finding myself. As a teenager I discover something new about myself or learn everyday. I feel like sometimes they don't understand me yet they claim to know me. This poem means alot to me because it talks about me and my everyday life and how I feel on that day let it be happy or sad. I just write it down and Writing sort of comes my spirit.