It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

• Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
• In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
• The best things in life are silly.
• The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.
• Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
• Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
• Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
• Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
• In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
• Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.