Enraging liberals is simply one of the more enjoyable side effects of my wisdom.

• That's what liberalism is all about, is promoting incompetence on the basis it's fair, because people would be the best if they weren't discriminated against.
• For the last five years, we have been presented with the idea that Barack Obama is superhuman. Barack Obama is unlike any of us or anyone else. And he isn't. In fact, he's much less achieved and much less accomplished than most who have gotten half as far as he has, and I think maybe what we saw was the best.
• There is one other business where the customer is always wrong and that's the media.
• The future is not Big Government. Self-serving politicians. Powerful bureaucrats. This has been tried, tested throughout history. The result has always been disaster. President Obama, your agenda is not new. It's not change, and it's not hope.
• Folks, the most insidious part of this whole health care scheme is that all of these vast medical expenditures will become nothing more than government budget items. We individuals will no longer exist. The relationship between a government and citizen will change forever.
• The message that President Obama delivered in his speech at Notre Dame was: morality is immoral. Pro-life is the extremist position, not a moral position. Yet we should compromise and work to reduce abortions. Where's the compromise between life and death - and why work to reduce the number of them occurring if there's nothing wrong with them?
• Is it a coincidence that in 1998, Barack Obama talks about a majority coalition of welfare recipients and in 2012 we got a record number of Americans on food stamps while he's president? I don't think it's a coincidence.
• You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.
• The future is not Big Government. Self-serving politicians. Powerful bureaucrats. This has been tried, tested throughout history. The result has always been disaster. President Obama, your agenda is not new. It's not change, and it's not hope.
• You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.