Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

• An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.
• The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
• A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
• Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are nave.
• People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
• Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
• Nietzsche is Peitsche.
• He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.
• Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long.
• Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.