So tired, my mind sleeps beneath reality's
dark shadow untouched. Scarcely waking, only
to recite words and figures that belong to a
World of which I have long since parted.
The silent portion, begging to remain unconscious
forever! Whispering, pleading, "please don't
disturb my unsound rest. You blindly and carelessly
cut me day after day with your insults yet care not of
my bloodshed and suffering!"
Self-inflicted? I know my faults. Even if I accidentally
grant you access to my darkest secrets, it doesn't
give you permission to disclose them to the public!
That makes you an accomplice, doesn't it?
It's simple really. Caress me and I'll scream in agony
but stab me in the heart like I'm accustomed to and
I'll reap the harvest of that truth, while I dance in
celebration, keeping in rhythm with your laughter!
Let us feast on my departure from these games I
speak of from distant dreams!
When I am but a shadow, a phantom visiting the physical
plane, what will they say about me? How will I be
remembered?
As a poor, insane man with thoughts and ideas no mind
could ever comprehend? Or lonely because I wouldn't
let anyone enter the gates that guarded my true identity and
self?
O God! When I forever sleep in Fire or Forgiveness, will
I look back and finally realize the full tragedy of my mistakes?
No! I don't think so! I need not die to be exposed to what
is already known. I know vividly the pain which I speak
of, yet can do nothing but pray for an expedient end to my suffering!