If you call failures experiments, you can put them in your resume and claim them as achievements.

• The wisdom of age: don't stop walking.
• Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends.
• Staid middle age loves the hurricane passions of opera.
• Middle age went by while I was mourning for my lost youth.
• The lonely become either thoughtful or empty.
• Living alone makes it harder to find someone to blame.
• Amazing that the human race has taken enough time out from thinking about food or sex to create the arts and sciences.
• Art begins in imitation and ends in innovation.
• Lying just for the fun of it is either art or pathology.
• If you are going to break a Law of Art, make the crime interesting.