I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

• Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance.
• In practice we, in the world, must do business with each other.
• I understand that computers, which I once believed to be but a hermaphrodite typewriter-cum-filing cabinet, offer the cyber literate increased ability to communicate. I do not think this is altogether a bad thing, however it may appear on the surface.
• Policemen so cherish their status as keepers of the peace and protectors of the public that they have occasionally been known to beat to death those citizens or groups who question that status.
• You know, young actors say all the time, 'Should I use my own life experience?' And my response is, 'What choice do you have?'
• In my family, in the days prior to television, we liked to while away the evenings by making ourselves miserable, solely based on our ability to speak the language viciously.
• My idea of perfect happiness is a healthy family, peace between nations, and all the critics die.
• One person may need (or want) more leisure, another more work one more adventure, another more security, and so on. It is this diversity that makes a country, indeed a state, a city, a church, or a family, healthy. 'One-size-fits-all,' and that size determined by the State has a name, and that name is 'slavery.'
• My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line.
• When the three branches of government have failed to represent the citizenry and the mass of the media has failed to represent the citizenry, then the citizenry better represent the citizenry.